22 May A Psalm of Sorrow. For Bathsheba.
The LORD’s abundance is a sweet nectar
Through His grace, I am nourished
Forever.
The LORD has sowed all the fields of the earth
And He says unto me,
“Go, My faithful,
Reap the fields of the earth.”
The LORD says unto me,
“The wicked may eat in their haste
But they do so in silence, and My wrath is against them.
Your enemies are before you. See, they starve before long, as a fool ought,
And all shall perish from the earth.
Yet behold, the righteous live in plenty,
For they feast upon bread from heaven.
Yes, the righteous man has no fear of famine.”
O God, My God
Who has nourished my body at the threshing floor
And has restored my blood at the vineyard
Has given to me freely.
All things that have become of me,
All things I have kept, ache for the LORD our God.
My bones had ached but were mended in the same Hands
That separated the firmament.
That the LORD has seen his lowly servant
And made dust into food for him,
Our God is the God of Mercies.
Yet also, the LORD sees all
And has witnessed me in my shadow
Having done evil in His eyes.
For I have sinned.
O God, My God
I have sinned against You.
My sins bear no fruit
But do bear resemblance to me.
Yes, LORD, I have sinned against You.
I humble myself before the Almighty God,
Who has fashioned for me every good thing in my life.
I have indeed riled the LORD’s anger
He hates the wicked and His enemies
And now turns His face toward me.
He comes upon a cloud of terrible darkness
And pulls back his bow.
The arrow shall find me,
For the same eyes that see all sin
Shall see to it that all sin is punished.
The Hand of God that made heaven and earth
Lay upon me a great burden.
The deep of my soul cries out in its sorrow.
O my God, God of Israel, have mercy upon me
For my sins burden my own guilt.
Yet in Your eternal glory I fall to my face.
My sins have caused me great agony,
And I have no pride in them.
I find no reward for turning against You,
And should there be such a thing,
I rebuke it, I reject it.
LORD, it is only in your lovingkindness that I belong.
Sin is the foundation of all sin.
The earth shall tremble before You coming to punish all sin.
I turn to my song, O my God
I sing Your praises in earnest.
For Your punishments are welcomed indeed.
I am deserving of nothing else but Your judgment
For having sinned against the LORD my God.
I pray for Your mercy, O my God
That my heart share a single beat with Yours.
The dove in the winter shall perish,
And leaves nothing to divide in the spring.
The lamb in the wilderness is taken by the wolf
And leaves nothing to be given to You in the Holy Place.
The bull in its first year falls to a plague
And leaves nothing to be burnt in the second.
LORD God of all that is,
I ask for Your wisdom having been judged
Your grace falls upon me in drops of new rain
From skies of which are too bright to see
O my God, I fear Your absence from me
What wings I find refuge in
Now carry You from me.
I wept in Your absence.
I ask only that Your judgment, LORD
Be a fire that renews me as fire renews the earthen vessel
And in the earthen vessel that is made hot by Your judgment,
You fashion it once more with Your hands
And shape me again.
That I may be filled with your grace again would set me upright
My sorrow is a solemn condemnation, of which I accept
LORD God of infinite mercies, I pray to Thee
That You bestow mercy on your humble servant
As You have bestowed mercy on me in every moment
That You have given me life.
LORD, Your grace is all things to me.
I seek You in every beat of my heart.
I praise You in every breath,
O my God.
The LORD’s abundance is a sweet nectar
Through His grace, I am nourished
Forever.